The Ancient Marathoner’s Twelve Most Important Rules for Marathon Success

  1. You want something engaging to read as you wait for the start, which you can then throw away. An old New York Review of Books you’ve been meaning to get to is perfect–because it can be fully absorbing, eat up a lot of time, but still at the end of the day is something you can toss.
  2. Do not drink beer the day before the race. Drinking a beer probably won’t affect your performance, but for me it’s sort of lent reduced to one day.  I should see what it’s like not to drink beer for a day now and then, and this is as good a day as any.
  3. Never go to the pre-race pasta dinner. Why be around a bunch of nervous runners? And you’ll want to eat what you want to eat.
  4. Spend as little time as possible at the pre-race expo. Get your number and then get out of there.  I do race with gels (mainly for their caffeine), so will stop to buy these.   Free samples of beer will also keep me for a few seconds.  But only if it’s not the day before the race.
  5. Do not even look at your free shirt until after the race. Wearing it before or during the race is being cocky and bad luck.
  6. Immediately before and during the race, put as much caffeine into your body as it can handle. This legal doping helps a lot.
  7. Do not bring your phone. You will get in the way of others if you take pictures.  You will get in the way of yourself if you listen to music.
  8. Do not worry if you think you could have used a final little pee at the start. Other sensations will be distracting you from this minor discomfort soon enough.
  9. Do not slow down at the water stations. People will run into you.  You’ll force others to slow down.  There is no reason you can’t grab a cup of water and drink as you maintain pace. Please, do not slow down at the water stations.
  10. It is good luck to thank all the volunteers profusely.
  11. Run like cooking a fish – at any moment you do not want to overdo it, but on the other hand you do not want it underdone at the end.
  12. Walk as much as you can after the race – it will help you feel better the next day.